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girl gamer diary

It's really a fairly gender-neutral gamer diary. Or, make your own mind up, I guess.



I started playing Skyrim SE again, after installing it for the first time last summer, getting all my mods ready, and then they hit me with the AE. But I'm just ignoring that. It can't hurt me if I don't look.

I also started playing Dirt Rally, which I've owned for ages after buying it after a free weekend (... after it had then sat on my wishlist for ages). I'm really awful at it* - I have a special achievement for finishing a race with the most pathetic burning pile of metal ever to be called a car - but I love it. I haven't really played a racing game since the old Colin McRae games, and it was in looking up how to spell that name I learnt that Dirt Rally is actually part of that series. No wonder it felt familiar!

* The game claims constant acceleration is a poor strategy and punishes me for it with trees and cliffs. I don't agree! But I've been thinking about my poor navigator and occasionally, when he sounds very upset, not pressed the go faster button, which obviously hasn't improved my times.


I bought Disco Elysium in January after meaning to for a while because of all the good things I'd heard about it. I played it from the 17th to the 21st (actually the morning of the 22nd). That's actually a really fast purchase-to-playing for me. And I absolutely adored it. I'm going to try to forget it a bit and then play again, but I'll probably play a similar Harry (high INT and PSY, Shivers and Perception as high as I could get them under these constraints).

It's been too long since I played a game that kept me up thinking about it. I can just think about it right now and want to scream. I miss Kim! And everything that happens in the church, or, I guess, everything I chose to do, will be in my heart forever.

I got Fallout 4 last summer, and I guess I was playing it before I decided to pivot back to Skyrim?? My save was like 3 days long, but I'd not gotten anywhere close to finishing the main quest. Too busy going on dates with Piper I guess. Well, I had to play something after finishing DE, so why not... the game where most conversations/quests only have one route...

I didn't get FO4 for a long time because I can't stand voiced protagonists in RPGs where you make your own character (even in DE where you're only half-making your own version of Harry, I couldn't stand having his thoughts voiced). I also despise dialogue wheels. But wonderful modders have fixed these issues, so it's tolerable. And I finally found my useless bastard son. Shot him in the face. Reloaded because I didn't want to lock myself out of the shooting-him-in-the-face quest. Played that quest. Realised shooting him in the face was technically optional, after shooting him the face. But oh man. I really wanted to shoot him in the face.


My FO4 save is now over 5 days long and I still haven't gotten to the DLC. I tried to just finish up some lingering Minutemen quests. Just because I sided with the BoS, doesn't mean I don't support them too.

The FO4 veterans know what a rookie mistake that was. If I ever start a new FO4 game, I think I will do what my friend told me she does and just pretend I can't see Concord when I leave Sanctuary... feels evil though! I don't mind saving Preston and his lot, I just want them to let me get on with my own life after :( Defend your own fucking settlements! It's the minute-woman according to these lazy arses. Maybe I will give the general's outfit to Preston and fucking leg it, then it's legally his problem, right?

The radio station is sick though.

For about 3 years, my husband and I have been slogging our way through Divinity Original Sin. It's so bad, but we persevere. The fighting is actually pretty fun even though the story is simultaneously ludicrous and boring (and this game does things like assume if you have a player 1 and 2 that player 1 is a man and player 2 is a woman... I'm not even getting into the quest where the 'good' ending is to be like 'femicide is one thing, not forgiving your husband's ghost for murdering you is quite another!!').

I realised we're playing the ~enhanced edition~, so I was like, oh, I guess the original game is super old and that's why-- No. It's from fucking 2014. And this, for some reason, was my birthday treat to myself. But, like I said, it's inexplicably fun. Maybe it depends on who you're playing with :)

Our DOS:EE save is corrupted with an old bug that never got fixed: now we can't go back to Cyseal. I'm hoping we don't necessarily have to? Oh well!

When I bought Disco Elysium back in January, it was because a new dreamwidth friend had bought it in the steam sale. And I never knew it was on sale because it wasn't on my wishlist because I always forgot about it by the time I was browsing steam, and because I hate 99% of what is tagged "visual novel", I'd blocked that tag in the store, and it has that tag (it's not a fucking novel though? It's 90% classic RPG, 10% point-and-click) so I never saw it browsing. Anyway, all this is besides the point (on top of being nigh incomprehensible as a sentence).

The point is, I also bought the whole Dishonored series at the same time, on her recommendation. She liked it enough to be offering to buy it for anyone who asked(!), but I'd only just met her + I hardly ever play games promptly, so it felt cheeky to take her up on it. I'm really happy I bought them.

I started playing the first one yesterday, on the 15th. It's so fun! It's like a modern Thief game. I used to love Thief, and fucking Thi4f or whatever it's called is one of the few games I've ever gotten a steam refund for. It was making me physically sick to play, plus it was such a letdown right from the start (why is master thief Garrett having a shouting conversation on the sneaky rooftops?! I will literally never forgive or forget that)

But aww I love knocking people out and dragging their bodies around in a magical industrial fantasy setting!! Can't believe I never really heard of these games before. The rats are certainly a novel twist... never had to worry about your little body collection getting eaten by swarms of rats in Thief... And, I guess it's kinda cheap, but I love the teleport power as an alternative to rope arrows, Thief 3's gloves etc. - it's functionally the same really, but easier to work out what the game is going to let you do or not.

Also, I don't even really know what Corvo looks like (I bet he doesn't look as pretty as his wanted posters after the opening sequence), but he can absolutely get it. Just like Garrett could. I don't even have the excuses of the voice and the personality this time. Maybe it just primed me to him. Yeah! Having fun!

I had to start Dishonored again yesterday (the 17th). I was having this super irrating steam cloud issue, even though I tried to fix it by not just synching anything I could, but flat out turning it all off when that didn't work. But still, on Disco Elysium, which I hadn't played for like a week at the time of this stupid bug starting, ~~STEAM CLOUD ERROR!!!!!!!!!~~ so ugly. And then it was on some other games too and I was like oh okay nuclear option time. But I did not understand exactly how that shit worked (not a good idea for the nuclear option anything right?) and yeah someone permanently deleted her Dishonored save. You know what the funniest part is? There's still a bunch of crap still on that stupid cloud I could download if I wanted to, but not my fucking actual game I'm playing that I never synced to no stupid cloud but was still there before aaarghhh!

But I'm fine. It's a fun game and quicker the 2nd time around. Soon I'll be back where I was (which is: damp zombie hell, always my least favourite Thief level, but at least going around giving people brain damage reduces contagious disease levels I guess???) And this time I did some fun things like... branding the evil priest THEN killing him. Killing the posh twins and THEN turning in the favour I needed to deal with them non-lethally... and I'm still lapping myself hehe :) Also I cut someone's fucking head off! Didn't even know you could, that's how little fighting I've been doing. I was like :O but I guess Corvo was just like *mask*

19th: I finished Dishonored! And I found out Corvo looks INSIPID! I hate it! I was okay with pretty boy OR fucked up face weirdo sneaky man... he looks like milk, but soggier I'm gonna play the DLCs I guess. They do not look interesting to me and I nearly didn't buy them but the friend who recommended the series said they're really good... If I don't like them, I can just go straight to the 2nd game! Maybe I will be evil... I don't think I have the heart to replay the first game main quest as evil though. (I say that like I'm some delicate flower and didn't reload and kill most of the targets multiple times for fun lmao. Daud especially, I was trying to work out the most painful way. In the end, pincushion seemed to be the best. But I realised too late: it was setting him on fire! I worked that out by setting Havelock on fire, but in the end I just arrested him because ~what will Emily think~ but the ending was the same either way. so. I wish I just set him on fire really. Let's say I did.) They were both so annoying. "I'm literally not gonna fight you Corvo :( :( :( :( HAHA PSYCHE - AHH FUCK, GUARDS!!!!" and "I'm sooooo contrite, and I'm not obviously saying this just after I said I know Corvo is here... :( :( :( maybe fighting Corvo will make me feel better from my terrible grief about what I did to his family :)"

I hope the voice acting is better in whichever one I play next. So many real actors doing such a piss poor job, it's unbelievable the names they had and what they did with them. I liked Sunny Smiles though and whoever was doing Samuel. It didn't stop me enjoying the whole game, though!

The Sims 3 bug bit again a few days ago (it's the 25th today) and that's what I've been doing and will be doing for the foreseeable future. Oh my god I missed this game!!!


I'm still playing TS3 :) Or, playing tiny bits to test my lots I'm building for Monte Vista, at least!


After making lots of progress with Monte Vista at the end of April, I... stopped playing sims lmao. I think I will get back into it soon. I haven't been playing a lot of games this month so far (it's the 14th today) because I've been writing HTTWSB (and another new Fallout WIP because there's something wrong with me). On steam I've "played" a little FNV but I was just researching really.

One game I have been playing in little spurts is Kyrandia 2: Hand of Fate. New to the diary but not new in any other sense, and one of my favourite games ever. I just left the best part of the game apart from the rainbow potions part at the end: the sandwich making part lmao. When I was little I could spend hours making cheese and mustard but I only did it about 3 unnecessary times this time. I hope Zanthia isn't too hungry.

Further proof of my changing playstyle is how I was convinced she'd die if I made her eat two pieces of taffy. I was telling my husband to watch and she just... wouldn't die lmao. I think it was like 10 pieces or something ridiculous like that before she carked it. But in my head it was just "omg if she eats two she will die!!"